Chrysalis

Today - less than an hour ago, actually - I put one of my treasured fanfictions to rest. I wrote up an author's note explaining why I couldn't continue, included all my ideas that I'd hoped to put into play, and then posted it as the final chapter (probably, I could go back to it but I don't think I'll intend to).

What surprises me the most is how little it upset me. I've been pondering ending it for a while now; it hasn't been fun to write for a long time, but I didn't want to let the people reading it down. I didn't want to let myself down. And I'm still upset but I'm too busy being relieved to be too upset, if that makes sense. It's been coming for a long while, I just haven't been willing to admit it.

A friend of mine who also has a blog posted a quote a little while ago: "The things we fear the most have already happened to us." -Anonymous. I've been terrified of losing my fire for that story, but I think I'd already lost it long ago. I just couldn't admit it.

Part of me's happy, actually. I'd planned to write that fanfiction alongside my original works, but I think the end result would have been the same, somewhere down the line. And now I don't have to worry about it anymore. It's one less obstacle to being able to become a published writer. Another crack in my chrysalis.

Soon, hopefully soon, I will fly.