Rage on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mRec3VbH3w

For those who don't like to click a link without knowing where it'll take you, that's a reading of Dylan Thomas' poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" - a piece about living boldly even in your final years.

Strange as it may sound, I used to hate messages like that, ones that told you to live without regrets and fight for your dreams. I think I wanted to be a writer - a creator of my own worlds, and not just a fanfic writer - long before I was willing to admit it to myself. I had a lot of reasons not to want it; it was too much work, I didn't want to fail, I didn't have any good story ideas... the list goes on.

So I forced myself to be content with what I had. But looking back, as content as I was I never really felt satisfied. I think there's a difference, one to do with the short and long-term. So dissatisfaction bubbled under my exterior for a while, and it was hard to listen to messages about having no regrets when I had a big one buried within my chest.

I did stop lying to myself eventually - over last fall break to be specific, but the details are another story - and I'm honestly happier now. Messages like Mr. Thomas' don't get under my skin anymore, or if they do, it's in an inspiring way, one that invigorates me instead of making me feel guilty. I think it's a change for the better.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. It may not be all fun and games, but if it's worth doing you'll be glad you did it.