Gilded bubble

I spend a lot of time in my dorm room. It's a habit I've been trying to kick for a while, with mixed success. My counselor says being isolated leads to depression, which I can attest to personally, so you'd think I'd have plenty of motivation to stay out, but it's harder than I realized. I suppose it would be easier if I had more friends, or if there were more clubs around campus that I was interested in, but I don't have much luck in either of those places.

Honestly, I'm not happy here in general, not anymore. One of the reasons I was drawn to Trine when looking at colleges was that it was so small that I wouldn't be overwhelmed by all the people. I'm autistic, so socializing is difficult for me, although I think it has gotten a little easier. A smaller college seemed like a good pick, and I think it was at the time.

But ever since the start of my sophomore year, I've been growing unsatisfied. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places, or maybe I need to expand my horizons (I probably do, actually), but it feels like I only occasionally have options besides hanging out in my room or hanging out around the LINK. I spend a lot of my time online, which eats up a lot of my all-too-plentiful free time but rarely leaves me feeling good. More than anything I feel isolated, and while hanging out with my friends helps, I can't keep them around for whenever I want them.

I guess in some ways, this is a good thing. It means that I've grown, mentally and as a person, to the point where I might be ready for something more. I just hope I can find a way to put that growth to use, because I think it's being wasted right now.